Posted by
Trubador on Tuesday, July 18, 2006 9:33:56 PM
Part 4 – Abidance and the “If” Clause
On Mother’s Day I went with my Dad to go to mass at my old parish.
And one of those negative remnants from my past creeps up again. My mind
replays certain scenes from my childhood years as we drive past the old grade
school. Times when some of the kids were cruel, while others tried as best as
they could to avoid their own moments of intimidation or humiliation at the
hands of fellow students. Or, in some cases, from certain teachers who
dispensed their own form of humiliation or indifference. Of course, not all of
the teachers were like that. And not every day was filled with fear or shame.
But emotional wounds at a young age cut deep and take longer to heal. Yet, I’ve
learned to reconcile. I’ve learned to focus on the many more positive and
joyful moments of my youth. And I’ve learn to forgive.
“Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” ~ Luke
23:34
As my dad and I walk into the church one of those strange little
humorous memories bubbled up from my brain. Although the church has been
rearranged slightly, the glazed yellow and brown bricks, and the small,
draw-chained stained glass windows brings back more memories – including the
morning masses before classes started on the First Friday of each month, and a
church full of us school kids hoping that the priest starts the Eucharistic
Prayer with “Lord, you are hold indeed…” or at least “Father, you are holy indeed…” because if you heard him say the word “indeed” you knew
that it was one of the two short Eucharistic Prayers, which meant you had a
whole 60 seconds less time having to kneel in the pews. Little did I know then
that that is one of the oldest Eucharistic Prayers in the Church, dating back
to the early 200s.
Sitting next to my dad during mass, the current pastor gave his
homily on the day’s Gospel reading from John 15.
“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener... Remain in me,
and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in
the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. I am the vine;
you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much
fruit; apart from me you can do nothing... If you remain in me and my words
remain in you, ask what-ever you wish, and it will be given you” ~ John 15:1-10
The pastor called this the “if” clause - a clause that many of us
tend to skip over. If you abide in me, if you remain in me, then whatever we ask will be given to us.
We tend to concentrate on what we want, as if we think we know what’s best for
us. After all, we’re adults, don’t you know? We become bombarded from all
angles with massive amounts of information and distraction and conflicting
messages, confusing us. At times, convincing us that this is important, and
that is acceptable. This is necessary, and do that and you’ll be fulfilled.
“Meaningless! Utter meaningless! ... All things are wearisome,
more than one can say. The eye never has enough of seeing, nor the ear its fill
of hearing... [all] a chasing of the wind.” ~ Ecclesiastes 1:2,8,14
Lost in the cacophony you begin to lose sight of Jesus’ words, “If you abide in me.” It’s a daily challenge trying to
remain in Him. It’s a struggle to maintain the abidance. The outer forces of
the world and the inner forces of our souls tug and pull and keep us unsettled,
when all we really want is peace. Inner peace. St. Paul in his letter to the
Philippians entices us with what he calls “a secret.”
“I have learned the secret of being content in any and every
situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I
can do everything through Him who gives me strength.” ~ Philippians 4:11-13
And what is that secret to real contentment versus fleeting
complacency? His profoundly simple solution is just several verses earlier in
the chapter.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer
and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of
God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds
in Christ Jesus.” ~ Philippians 4:6-7
After mass my dad and I went back to the cemetery together one
more time, bringing flowers for Mother's Day. Then the following morning,
before leaving to catch my flight, just like my mom used to do, he takes out
her old, small jar of holy oil, blesses my forehead and prays for my safe
journey. And I head to the airport to catch my flight for a 2-day pilgrimage to EWTN,
the global Catholic cable network, and the
Shrine of the Most Blessed Sacrament.
“Consider what God has done: Who can straighten what he has made
crooked? When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider: God
has made the one as well as the other. Therefore, a man cannot discover
anything about his future.” ~ Ecclesiastes 7:13-14